I am posted this because maybe someone else has gone through the same thing. I have a friend whom I am close to that when we went for tea after a workout really laid into me....on one hand I am blessed that I have someone who cares enough to feel free to speak what she feels is the truth on the other hand it was hard for me to hear. See I keep strict about what I eat except the weekends and with all the stress the has surrounded my life in the past year I dropped down to 108lbs recently and my friend says I can not see what others do. I promised I would gain the weight back and I promise everyone I really do eat. My starting goal is 5 pounds and another 5 or more for the Winter. She actually cried because she said she was so worried about me. By the way I am back up to 111 I have doubled my carbs and have tried to lighten up on what I eat. I know in the back of my mind that alot of what she said is the truth.......what can you control in your life if everything else seems to be falling apart! Do you understand what I mean (Food)
Some people eat for comfort when stressed I have to force myself when stressed, this year has been nothing but a bad year all the way around but I try to remember everyday is a gift from God and through the rough patches brings the sun.
This past week I was attacked literally by a dog......literally he wanted to kill me I have puncher wounds in my head, tricep and quad and have this tingling in my fingers that won't go away! Had to have a Tetanus Shot along with Antibiotics here is the kicker my own 8 year old English Setter was the culprit he was out to kill me, my little one saw everything and we both went into shock, she will tell you she remembers nothing it is her way of protecting herself from a bad memory. We just went through the same thing 2 months ago putting an animal down because he turned on the wee one. I just keep thinking to myself what if it was her and not me instead of getting the back of my head he got her face! The Husband thinks the spirit of the other dog has jumped into the setter's body because he is mad at us for putting him down! Little crazy but when you have had a dog so long it is just so hard to believe they could turn into Cujo! My oldest thinks we must be meant for gerbil's or a cat!!!
Anyways 2010 has to be a better year......I will still train like I am an athlete and eat like one also! My goal is not to look way to small, never has that been my goal my goal honestly this year was 120 pounds of pure muscle. So as I promised my friend I WILL gain the weight in a healthy manner.
Take care all,
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